an armdtv will protect you

The atmosphere is solid humidity, the sun has just set, the air is filled with the smell of rotten fruit, crab cakes, and seagulls. The seedy side of this cosmopolitan city is starting to fart and psychadelasize from every barrio alley into a larger than life hyper sci-fi movie. On the dark and steamy corner of Calle Ruiz, downtown San Juan, Armando T., undercover, has been waiting more than patiently for any lead to software culprit and information pirate, D' Gablón .

The street ambiance rolls tense, from an adjacent muebleria departs a shifty nerd type, oversize lab coat and too many pencils in his ears. He approaches electro-motive arrogance... Armando thinks, this must be the guy , and breaks the ice and says : " YO! bub, Where do you wanna go today ?!"
Caught off-guard , sputters and replies , " ME, uh, I uh need some uh cheap thrills and enhancements........"
Before the quarry gets a chance to get the " what - fors " into the psychology ,
he demands firmly, " WELL,.. what you got to get anythin' wid.....??! ".
Unflustered, the techwaif, reaches casually into his breast pocket and pulls forth a brand-new 53.8µ ChromoSilicoInfoDisk.... dead pause... Silence. dB level drop -40 within a circumference of three meters. The gravity ,. the rapture ,. beholding a 53.8µ CSID in naked public.

Sweat boiling forth from every pore ,
..impulse lunged at a bag of consciousness ,
....quickly pulled from his t-coat pocket the FIDEL-38 side arm trusted like a wife ,
....grabbed the lab-coat by the neck and plunged the barrel into his gut ,
....proceed automatonomic to pose questions ,

" ¿Where'd you get dis device ?"
" ¿Where is Dmongo? "

The lab coat body convulsed, like an iguana fresh speared by a Taino Indian ., Armando was losing control of the situation......., sudden sharp snapped crotch pain, trigger instinct had to activate. The projectile slammed human pizza, ( loci exitus : fruit of the loom label ) , stuccoed on adjacent buildings facades .

A last dying pink sputum gasp, neck in clutches, there was murmured , " freeware.......... " In mumbled disgust," What the fuck... " dropped the body like excrement or an old jelly donut, didn't know which, and he wandered off to a bar somewhere.........


excerpted from soon to be realized autobiography," DON'T TOUCH ME, I'M PREGNANT, The Life and Times of Armando Tortuga." All rights reserved . 5/94 © ®